I am on a very strong antibiotic. I am on the mend, I think. I had to sleep part of the night in a chair last night because I thought I was choking and my lungs felt like they were collapsing. I have learned three important things from this illness.

1.) As soon as you feel sick, stop exercising.
2.) Don’t get on a plane.
3.) Get enough sleep.

I know, I’m a genius!!!!!

Something I’m reading: “Kluge” by Gary Marcus. I recommend it HIGHLY. I had a binge of economics/biology book buying. I got “Nudge” by Richard Thaler & Cass Sunstein, which was okay. Then I read “The Economic Naturalist” which wasn’t that great, more like an interesting set of explanations… sort of. But then I read “Kluge.” OH it’s so good. And elegantly written to boot. It’s about how our brains evolved, what our weaknesses are because of it, how the oldest part of our brain can take over, for better or worse results. And the book is short, I read it today. And I am reminded again how impulsive we all are. And how critical thinking is something that is acquired, not innate. Even though evaluating cost and expense of any given opportunity is innate, it’s just that we aren’t naturally good evidence gatherers. We have horrible confirmation bias, we tend to be unrealistically optimistic, and we can be overwhelmed by visceral experiences – seeing someone attractive and sexually available, the smell of food, the over-response to a scary story in spite of statistics. Anyway, I recommend this book SO much. I already think it’s on my Christmas book list. Maybe by then it will be in paperback.

I am about to start reading it again.

Here’s the thing I wanted to blog about.

This week, on the plane back from Portland, I listened to a conversation between the two people, a man and a woman, behind me. They hadn’t known each other before the plane ride. I could make out that they were both religious. He said he was a retired psychologist that worked for a church organization – which one I didn’t catch. She said she was Catholic and proud of it. She told him she converted to Catholicism as an adult. He asked her why. (You can imagine that at this point I was pressing my ear between the seats so I could hear…) And she said, “Oh I became Catholic because our kids were getting ready to go to school and I there was a Catholic church and school nearby and the people there seemed really nice and like the people I like to be around, really family oriented. And my husband was raised Catholic, so he liked it.”

This reminded me once of another plane conversation, this one with someone I was sitting next to, and actually in the conversation with. He told me he lived in Salt Lake City, and in fact he had just moved there four years before. Then somehow it came out that he was Mormon (I might have asked him this point blank.) I asked him if that’s why he moved to Salt Lake City. He said no, he set up a business there. For some reason, I guess, it was a good place for his business. Then he said he converted to the Mormon church after he got there. I said, “Why?” He said, “Well, when in Rome… And people there are all Mormons and he wanted his kids to be like the other kids around and it was good for business because everyone else he was dealing with was Mormon.

First of all, I give both these people major points for honesty. I think they were speaking the truth. I mean, you could argue that the Catholic woman was telling her pragmatic side of the story for being Catholic rather than her religious reasons because the person she was talking to was a psychologist from another church and maybe she thought it would be too disagreeable to say something like, “I am a Catholic because Jesus is the Son of God and he appointed Peter to be the first Pope by saying, ‘On this rock I build my church” and the current Pope is the mouthpiece of God now.’” So I could see that even if she felt this way, she might not have said it, because it wasn’t such a neighborly thing to say.

But my hunch is that she really is Catholic because of the reasons she said and not for any other reason. And I think the Mormon guy on the plane a few years ago is Mormon for exactly the reasons he told me and nothing more.

Wow.

Now if someone asked me why I was an Atheist, I would probably go into a long and boring account of why I don’t think there is an ultimate designer in nature and get into some philosophical reasons why I think there is no God.

Imagine if I said, “Well, a lot of really cool people are Atheists. In my neighborhood everyone is reading Dawkins and Dennet and Sam Harris and I want my kid to be accepted by their kids so that’s why I’m an Atheist.” I think the other person would be floored. I think they would immediately write me off as superficial and shallow and I think they would be right to do that!

But I suspect if I challenged the religious people on the plane this way, if I said, “Wow, how cooly pragmatic that answer is.” I think they would be really offended and think of me as persnickety and holier-than-thou (how ironic!)

On the other hand, I thought of it this way. What if my answer was “I am a Catholic.” And when they asked why I said, “My family was Catholic. I became accustomed to Catholic ritual. It is a comfort to me. I like the architecture, the medieval overtones, the outfits of the religious, and I especially love the music, in particular Bach.” Would that be less superficial? Because I could see myself saying that if I had not become a-religious.

So, I just thought I would throw that out there. I think it’s interesting, is all.

I can’t believe I’m sick AGAIN. I just had the flu in January, and now I have a hellish cold. It’s hellish in that I feel almost well for about an hour a day, just long enough to convince myself that I can go on with life as usual, only to find that no, I am slogging through with clogged sinuses and ears and weepy eyes (weirdly stuff is like, leaking out of my eyes, and it’s not tears because I am not unhappy, I am PISSED that I am sick again) and I can’t taste anything.

You would think not being able to taste anything would be a boon to someone who wants to lose a few pounds. But my reaction to not being able to taste anything is a strange desire to eat constantly - everything, anything, just trying to get some amount of taste.

It’s as if my appetite isn’t really so much about calories as it is about getting satisfactory taste and flavor and when that function is compromised, I have this urge to try and try and try to get that taste and flavor. So I eat thousands of calories and hate every bite. ARG.

I went to Portland on Wednesday and did a question and answer session, along with a little talk about creativity and “believing in yourself” and skepticism at this very famous advertising firm: Wieden & Kennedy. I loved the building. And the people. It was all great and fun -- except for the constant sniffles.

That night, I did an hour and ten minutes of “Letting Go of God.” I got to do this in a church! That’s the first time that’s happened and what a treat. The audience was welcoming and listened and was very supportive and open and I was really honored to be there.

Except I probably shouldn’t have been, because I began to lose my voice and I coughed a lot and ICK. Oh! I shouldn’t have shook people’s hands. I thought I was on the mend, I didn’t have a fever or anything. I feel awful about that.

So I came back to L.A. yesterday – the plane flight was excruciating, my ears have still not recovered. And I cancelled my trip to New York for the World Science Festival for this weekend. That just kills me. Just kills me, I tell you. I was even meeting my mother-in-law there and she was already in the city.

GRRRRRRRRRRR…

I also found out that in spite of our greatest wishes, the radio pilot I did with the CPB (Corporation for Public Broadcasting) did not get funded. I had such a great time working on that and really wanted to do more of them. My producer, Mary Beth, is not giving up and we have a lot of interest from some other public radio places, and I guess there is a window even for going back to the CPB – possibly – at some future time – for funding… but… oh… oh…

Wow.

It’s hard not to think about completely reorganizing your life when you are sick and have gotten a few pieces of bad news.

Like, I need to slow down. I need to focus on a few things and do well on them and stop this running around doing shows here and there. I need to stop going to conferences. I need to finish my book, write my pilot (the only well paying job I have right now) and get this movie launched. I need to get really tough about accepting invitations.

The thing is, my appetite is so big. Not just with food. With everything, I always want to do everything. I want to be a mom, I want to write books, I want to do my stage show all over the place, I want to create TV shows, I want to be ON TV shows. So I’m spread out all over and I’m constantly frazzled.

All right. Enough of the pity party. I am going to get well and write more some other time.

This is a quick note before I begin more regular blogging.

The show in Ridgefield, Connecticut was cancelled. They hadn’t sold enough tickets. I feel a little bad about it. But on Wednesday night I am doing “Letting Go of God” in Portland, Oregon for 850 people, so my defenders say that this is all due to poor press and publicity. In any case, I am really fine about not doing the show there. It takes a lot of effort to do the show, and now that the movie is nearly available, it seems that the movie should do the work from here on out. I really feel bad about the people who did buy tickets, but I guess they will be refunded.

In the meantime, I am doing an appearance at the science festival in New York City this weekend. Portland on Wednesday, then off to New York for the weekend. That seems like it’s going to be really fun. I’m also planning on attending some of the other events as well.

I really got wiped out by the wedding, which was more wonderful and meaningful than I imagined it would could be. Thanks so much for all the well-wishers! I’m still recovering from it.

Other news before I call it a night:

Jill and I plan on opening the “Jill & Julia Show” sometime around August 23 in Los Angeles. We are hoping for a several-month run through the end of the year. This is why I also cancelled the Iowa “Letting Go of God” show. I knew we would be up and running the J & J show, and it would take me out of two weekend shows in order to do that show. Basically, except for readings, I have stopped performing the Letting Go of God stage show.

On the movie front, I am really excited about the movie premiering at the Seattle Film festival on June 13. Seattle’s Women in Film are throwing me a cocktail party after the Friday screening, which is really nice. Today I worked with my graphic designer on the poster for the movie, and I really like it. The trailer is basically done too. I’m really tickled with it – I got a great producer to make it, it’s very good.

My website it really out of date, and I promise that I will update it in the next day or so.

I’m taking a blogging break until May 10. I’m getting married May 3 and I have so much to do and so many conversations to have, so much lighting to supervise and napkin folding style to decide upon – and you know, I have to admit, I love this wedding planning – I love the whole thing, the lists, the costumes, the choreographing, the seating, the big shebang, I really love it. It’s like producing the ultimate show. And I’m co-honoree and co-host, what could be better!?!

But I did want to point people towards the website www.homesweetearth.org. I have a little show on NPR (you know I knee-jerk always say NPR, but I mean Public Radio) for Earth Day, April 22, and I’m not sure exactly how many stations are playing it – I do know it will play in Seattle, Spokane (I had to have it play there, c’mon!) New York and I haven’t checked where else yet. We are hoping this is the beginning of a regular show on Public Radio in a year or so. In any case, you can download or listen to the show for free if you go to the website.

Take care! Thanks for stopping by! If you want to chat, go to the forum (you can get there off my website – it’s hoppin’!) And I love the section where people tell who they are and what their story is, I read every one of those and I feel so lucky to have people write posts there. Do it!

Okay, as of today, I am officially anti-Hillary. I have held out. Most people I know really can’t stand her. I was always quick to add that if she were the nominee I would support her. But after last night’s debate, how she was pushing things all out of context, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I really hate what she’s doing, and I feel her worst self is being revealed. Now, if she does become the nominee, I would vote for her. She is far better than McCain. But I am not a real supporter.

The way she is relentlessly pounding on Obama about this off-hand remark about bitter people, the way she is going after him about his pastor’s remarks, it’s just embarrassing at this point. It really made me angry.

My NPR special, “Home Sweet Earth” which is 30 minutes long, will air on several Public Radio stations on Tuesday, April 22. We are in the process of getting the website up. You will be able to download it for free from the website after Earth Day, April 22.

I can’t help it, I want to write a doctoral dissertation on “The Real Housewives of New York City.” I can’t go into it here, I am running late, but OHGOD that show. How interesting it is. How people’s memories are revealed – how inaccurate they are. I hope those women see the show and realize how they misremember things. We all do this, but it’s so stark and embarrassing on that show. On the other hand, I have affection for those women! I really do. I also read that Bethany’s boyfriend Jason was fired from his financial president of an investment company job because of appearing on the show. WOW. The thing missing from the show was how the show affected the show and the people. I mean, these women wouldn’t know each other at all except for the show. And the show obviously was pushing certain behaviors and situations. I don’t even think that’s bad, but it’s part of the show too – the show. There is something deep and witty there I cannot think of right now because I’m running late. More later… Oh! And the Pope! What about the Pope and Bush?!? And how they hate "Relativism." Yes, for them, making the world black and white, good and bad, keeps them in business.

I went to Café Press and I ordered an Obama sticker for my car. I guess that’s it. I’m in for Obama. I actually loved what he said about bitter people turning to religion and guns. Of course, I see it the same way. Oh I hope he wins, I really, really do.

I decided to take off the bumper sticker that I have had on my car for a long, long time now. It says, “Imagine no religion” with a rainbow on it. Before Mulan even knew what that meant she knew our car amongst all the other white ones by the rainbow on the back.

Once I got my car serviced and the mechanic gestured towards my bumper sticker and said, “You know some people could take that the wrong way.” I said, “No, I that’s the way I mean it.” He squinted his eyes at me. I was glad my car had already been fixed.

The only thing bad with having an anti-religion sticker on your bumper is when you intentionally or even inadvertently slide in front of someone a wee bit too close or you are speeding ahead or getting around someone and I think they must think, “See, no religion, what a jerk.” But mostly I get positive feedback. I have several times had people gesture to me to get me to roll down my window so they can tell me they feel the same way about religion. Sometimes I am not sure if they are actually taking it the other way, like, how awful would it be with no religion. Anyway, I liked it's abiguity and I liked it's reference to John Lennon too.

Now I say good-bye to it. I loved my rainbow and my “Imagine No Religion.” ( I got it from the Freedom From Religion Foundation at a conference.)

I could have both bumper stickers.

I guess I just want one bumper sticker on my car. When I see people with lots of bumper stickers, I think the stickers better be REALLY funny ones, or they’re nuts.

Now I feel that Obama and I are going steady. I’m committing to him, His sticker will adorn my car.

What's next? A sign on my front lawn?

That's too far and too fast for me and Obama for the time being. Let's just take this one sign at a time. First the car, then possibly the lawn, then - maybe a... T shirt.

Eventually I will send money to the actual campaign. OHGOD, I hate myself! That's terrible. But I can't afford that level of commitment at this very moment.

Oh Barack, can't you just accept my wee bumper sticker for right now? I can see in your eyes you want me to send you actual money, but I am not ready yet, I'm just not ready, darling. Let's talk about it later. Don't pressure me with your great speeches, taunt me with your veiled derisive religious comments. I will fully commit with money eventually, I swear! Just.. for now, let's celebrate the fact that I ordered a bumper sticker from Cafe Press. I know, I know, I didn't order it from your own campaign website. But my darling, Barack, your stickers on your website aren't that great. They have this eighties look to them, the bright blue and everything. I got the one with the peace sign made out of the "O" - that was way cooler, don't you see??



Last Saturday at Mulan’s school they had a “Culture Day Fair.” There were booths all over the playground representing different countries and selling little trinkets to benefit the school. My friends Lesley and Dave managed the China booth and they sold these little red lanterns for one ticket each. Each ticket cost one dollar.

The people running the Korean booth came over to them about half way through the fair and said, “We’re selling the same lanterns but for two tickets each. You have to raise your price.”

Lesley said, “Hey, we represent China! We will not be undersold!” Dave said, “There is no price fixing at this fair!”

The people at the Korean booth slinked away. They didn’t lower their price per lantern, exactly. They began to sell two lanterns for two tickets. You couldn't buy just one lantern.

I loved that. There was so much for Mulan to learn at the fair about business! But she was mostly concerned that her hip-hop dance went off well. (She represented the USA, I guess.)

I noticed though, that some other parents, I think in response to the Chinese booth, had put up a Tibet booth. It had books about the Himalayas and the Dalai Lama, but nothing to sell.

It was a lonely booth.

People just walked by and looked away. Oh yes, Tibet. Yeah. That place. Oh, dear.

It was a busy week and lots of things are brewing but I can’t talk about them yet.

So.

I can’t stop thinking about all those children taken from the fundamentalist LDS ranch in Texas. I haven’t even read or watched very much about it, I just keep thinking about those kids. They must be so scared. They are taught the outside world is evil, this is a terrible fear they are constantly hearing about and now it’s real and right “out there.” I wonder about the older kids and if it’s too late for them to have any sort of normal life. I think about how many compounds like this one were not found.

I am also thinking about our evolution as a species – an alpha male with several females is part of our genetic heritage. So, think about it. How many communities like this one have there been? Of course, those ones in the past didn’t necessarily have the religious zealotry that this community had… has. But still, it’s a lot to turn over in one’s head. And that’s what I’ve been doing a lot this week.

Also, I think about what I learned from Robert Wright’s “The Moral Animal.” As I told Robert Wright when I met him at the TED conference a few years ago, The Moral Animal fucked me up! It was very profound, and then became the gateway book for me to read all kinds of other socio-biological types of books.

Anyway, Wright argues that enforced monogamy protects men more than women. He asks the reader to imagine a graph where every man and woman are linked as mates. Then he writes (and I would quote him, but I can’t find the book – if you can believe it I still have not re-organized my books after last year’s May 5th filming of Letting Go of God! Argh!) that you should further consider what happens when one of the males links to another female who is exclusive to him too. One man gets two women. Well, there’s a man left out. And so on. So that when a group is comprised of one male who dominates the breeding of several females, then several males are left out. And then he goes on to talk about how detrimental this can be to a society – how less violent men are who are in relationships, etc. Then he goes on to show that women, if they could take a mate that is already mated – or engage in polygamy, she is better off and the children of the first mate are also better off because they are not shunned by the second mate. I don’t it’s theoretically true that women are better off after you are wife number #4, #5, and so on, but still -- it was an amazing theory that I could understand in general and went completely against everything I thought that I thought about this subject!

So, then Wright argues that laws favoring monogamy are really for the benefit of men, those men who would be left un-mated if polygamy were allowed. And monogamy laws are good for society in general, but maybe not so much for that extra female or two a powerful male could acquire if it was lawful. But then he goes on to show that this actually happens anyway, and that rich and powerful men often take a series of wives and have two families or sometimes even three.

In any case, it made me understand polygamy in a new way, and it made me a defender of monogamy in a stronger way too.

Last night Mulan was asking me if the police didn’t sleep and stayed up all night in case something bad happened. What if something happened in the middle of the night and they were asleep? So I was explaining what the “night shift” or the “graveyard shift” was. She was wide-eyed and amazed. And I could tell she was a little bit scared and wanted to know that if something terrible happened, the police would be awake and able to help her.

I think this was because she had just gone over to our neighbors who have a 4 month old baby and she had come home on her own (one house away) and the porch light was burned out. This was her first time to approach her own door in the dark like that. (I was actually watching TV in the living room, ten feet from her, so it wasn’t all that terrifying or unsafe – believe me…) In any case, talking with her about it, seeing this fear of night and not being protected, even the little glimmer of it, made my heart break for all those kids who were taken from that LDS ranch. I mean, of course I think they should have been taken, HAD to have been taken. But they must be terrified. Oh dear, oh dear.

My last thought for this April Saturday morning – and then I have to go wrangle Mulan out of bed – is that I no longer apologize for liking Bravo TV’s “The Real Housewives of New York City.” I am mesmerized. I am totally a Bravo TV supporter at this point. And I even like the new “Step It Up” – the dance reality show. Mulan said last night, after we watched “Step It Up,” “Bravo is like the best channel ever.” That might be true right now. I have no real cable loyalty, but these shows are really impossible not to watch and then actually get sucked into – to the point where I actually know what night it’s on and look forward to it! Curses! I never thought that would happen!

Okay then, a diary!

Today I cleaned the kitchen. The hard part of the kitchen. I mean the – all those papers and pens and old sticky-notes-with-some-piece-of-important-information-on-it kind of stuff. It was awesome. I am totally into organizing. I love to organize and I can’t keep it up. I completely go through some area and set it up for optimal organization and then let it all slide for six months.

Mulan went through all her old school papers and we reduced it down to 20% of it’s original size. YES!

Now that the Jill and Julia Show is done for the time being, (we think we'll open the show for real in later August or September) I am concentrating on writing my pilot and working on wedding plans. That’s it until the end of May when I am traveling. I am going to this Science Festival in New York at the end of May, just before I do Letting Go of God in Connecticut. I would post what I’m doing there, but it’s a bit up in the air. I should find out the dates for the Seattle Film Festival soon too.

Tonight I’m going to a friend’s house who has a screening room and occasionally has parties. We are going to eat pizza and watch “Bonnie and Clyde” which I haven’t seen since college.

Wow. Charlton Heston died. I didn’t know that until just now. He hosted SNL while I was there and he and Al Franken had the most wonderfully enjoyable contentious relationship. I think they truly enjoyed it too. I really liked Charlton Heston after that.

Things are looking up for the radio show on NPR. Of course most things fall apart, so we will see. But I am feeling pretty good about it. Stars are aligning in this regard!

I loved the comment on my last post about the baptism for a conversion to atheism. The poster asked if salt might be used. That made me laugh. Yes, it’s so funny how we pre-spin the conversation with the way we word things. When Ken Star referred to my lack of belief as a “conversion to atheism” it sets the tone immediately. I think other people have said that to me to and I let it slide. I don’t think I will the next time. I don’t mind the term “de-conversion.” People have said that too. But when you grow up in a religion, there isn’t really a conversion moment like there is described in religious literature or amongst fundamentalists. But I probably spin the conversation revealing my opinion too by how I describe things. I often toss around “critical-thinking-skills” when talking to religious people. And I suppose you could say that by using that particular set of words I am pre-setting my view that the religious abandon their critical thinking skills when it comes to God. I mean, I admit it, I do use that phrase deliberately and pointedly. But I probably wouldn’t use that phrase if I were moderating a panel about religion. I think I would try to use the most neutral words I could. Although I am not complaining. It was really more interesting to me. Curious phrase: Julia’s conversion to atheism.

I am reading “Cool It” right now – Bjorn Lomborg’s book. He also wrote "The Skeptical Environmentalist." The jury is still out in my own mind about his view, but I agree with him that the environmental movement is getting promoted with a lot of misinformation. And while global warming due to human activity appears to be real and accepted by everyone, including Bjorn, (although he didn’t admit this in his previous book) what we do about it is clearly up for debate.

I listened to R.E.M. all day today. I don’t have the new album yet, but I’m getting ready for it by listening to all the old ones. I am still not finished loading all my music on the computer, but I think by the end of the week. I also listened to NPR and “The Splendid Table” about making pasta in Bologna and the show was so delightful I wanted to drop everything and go to Italy.

Mulan has been listening to “Letting Go of God” – the song – the one that Jill Sobule sings (and you can download it from my homepage) and she asked me, “When she sings “Mary looked up yearning” what does that mean, like she looked up “yearning” like she looked up that word in the dictionary?” Absolutely serious, straight faced. Oh! That is awesome.

This has been a very busy week. Although I normally am trying not to turn my blog into a diary, this week I have no over-arching things to get off my chest. So I guess I’ll just post a quick rundown of my week and maybe something interesting will appear.

On Monday I went to USC and participated in a panel discussion about religion. The panelists included Jack Miles who wrote “God, A Biography” which won him a Pulitzer. I've read that book and I really liked it quite a bit. I haven't read his more recent book: “Christ, A Crisis in the Life of God.” But now I really want to. He was quite astonishing at our panel discussion at USC. He arrived on campus straight from the dentist's office, where he had an emergency appointment for a horrible tooth abscess. He was on pain medication for it. He gave an interesting talk on the panel-- about religion as art that inspires; and how precarious our situation is ecologically and that perhaps our only hope is a new kind of religion that makes the Earth’s environment (as habitable for us) the first priority.

Jack does not claim to be an atheist, but I felt from his talk that he sees religion as a human artistic expression and not supernaturally inspired. I was riveted by his comments.

The moderator of the panel was Dr. Kevin Starr, and he is the California State Librarian as well as a professor at USC. He was very sweet but it bothered me that he described my religious views as a “conversion to atheism” twice! That really bugged me but I didn’t get a chance to make a comment about it. "Conversion to atheism" – that’s a good one. That phrase manages to accuse me of being smitten with a crazy idea at the same time it denigrates the religious experience of conversion itself. Amazing.

Oh jeez. I wrote the above a few days ago. Now I’m in my kitchen, home from the Jill and Julia show at the Renberg Theater and wired. We had such a fun time doing the show tonight. I cannot wait for a real run of this show. I love Jill Sobule. What an honor to be on stage with her. And Dave – our bass player, he is great too. He adds just the right third-piece-of-energy to the show. I think we will open a show in late August or September. I am really really happy to be doing this show, it's just a joy to be onstage with Jill.

Oh - I can’t see straight – jeez. More to come.

“Letting Go of God” got into the Seattle Film Festival! I am so happy. I’m not sure of any more details, but this will be the public world premier. And in Seattle! What could be better? Also, I'm so happy the forum is up and running. I've been enjoying reading all the entries. What a relief to have that up.

The forum is back. Click on the link listed just to the right. All these great conversations should be happening there.

And for the record, even after I was so angry at Hillary over this whole running-from-sniper-fire comment and weird retraction, I STILL actually like her. And I would support her if she got the nomination.

I just left Jill Sobule’s house where we listened to the Earth Day special I did that’s going to play on some NPR stations on April 22. Jill did the music. It sounds okay! Jill of course, is fabulous. I feel I make some jokes I wish I hadn’t and I say “right” way too much during interviews with people, but overall I am deeply proud of it.

Not much more to report. A Jill and Julia website is in development. We are doing two shows next weekend here in L.A.

Oh! The big news for me was looking at a rough cut of the trailer for “Letting Go of God” and it looks really nice.

Well, I just wanted to make a post to say… let’s take this party into a bigger room, shall we? Please go sign into the forum. I’ll still be posting here – I was (when the old forum was up) posting blog entries in both places, but I will probably only do my blog entries on here. But I will comment and post as well on the forum.

See you.

Oh Lord. That whole thing with Hillary Clinton and being under fire in Bosnia is so embarrassing. And I hate her response to it, I hate the first part of her response and I hate the last part of her response. Even though, “I was mistaken” is normally something I like to hear someone say – it’s true, it’s to the point, and yes we are all mistaken about things, this was not a small thing. She was trying to portray herself as a hardened and seasoned international-relations person and even if she did blow the event up in her memory, it’s more than just being mistaken. She was speaking from prepared notes when she made those comments about Bosnia. I mean, come on!

She should have said, “I’m horribly embarrassed. I have lost confidence in my own memories!” Or, "I was trying to show how internationally seasoned I am diplomatically and how brave, but that was a terrible example of it." Simply saying she was mistaken is not enough.

THEN, the second part – “It proves I’m human, which, y’know, for some people, is a revelation.” That part of the response is even worse! What is that supposed to mean? That some people think she is super-human? That seems snotty and arrogant. But actually, I think she was trying to make the opposite point, that reporters are picking apart picayune references in her speech and they think she's... I guess... sub-human? Odd, it doesn't really make sense to me.

Normally I agree, the press pounces on the smallest inconsistency. This, though, is not small. God, how could she not have looked into that memory before parading it around like that - in a speech from notes? About something so easily checked into?

Obama is looking better and better compared with her and he’s not even doing anything, all he has to do is stand there and he looks great.

I keep listening to stories about the problems in Tibet. Every story I’ve heard frames the issues mostly on religious freedom, and that is partly true, I think. But I think it’s mostly about family and money.

I spent some time in Tibet about nine years ago. I vaguely supported the Tibetans and wanted them to have their religious freedom. (I still believe this but understand the issue is more complex, now.) When I got to Lhasa, I was surprised at how bad things were for the Tibetans.

The Han Chinese are distinctly different looking than the Tibetans, so it made the difference between their economic status starker and sadder. When I was there, Tibetans were generally not allowed to own a business at all. There was some wiggle room, but it was much more difficult for them to own a business. Contrast this with the Han Chinese, who not only came from a culture that had business ownership in their history in a major way, were given financial incentives to move to Tibet to open a business.

The Tibetans were, and probably still are a nomadic people mostly and they were cloistered together in Tibetan ghettos in the city or wandering around, wide eyed and looking lost.

The Han Chinese were openly disdainful of them. They were opening businesses everywhere and the Tibetans were in the way.

Then there was the kid thing. Tibetans are required to keep to the one-child policy (or at least this is what was true.) but the Han Chinese, if they moved to Tibet, were allowed to have as many children as they wanted. When I was in Kunming, in southern China, where I spent some time before I went to Tibet, there were signs that advertised moving to Tibet. They offered the chance to have more than one child and help with starting a business.

Where did the Chinese get inspiration from for this policy that was systematically marginalizing the Tibetans and over time, reducing their numbers? The U.S. policy towards Native Americans, that’s where.

When I was in Tibet, it was like getting a first hand look at what it must have been like in many areas of the U.S. a hundred and fifty or so years ago. Lost looking Native Americans wandering through industrial cities built by immigrant Europeans (for the most part.)

It was so sad to see this. It was heartbreaking. When I saw the picture of all the Chinese goods being trashed in the streets in Lhasa, that was on the cover of the New York Times yesterday, it made perfect sense to me.
In front of the big monastery in Lhasa, the one that the Dalai Lama fled from, there used to be a big reflecting pond. You were able to look at the majestic monastery than and you were able to see it’s reflection in the pond. It must have been beautiful. The Chinese had covered up the reflecting pond with tar, and made a big parking lot sized tarred area out of it. Then they parked a military plane on it. So you couldn’t see the monastery so well without also seeing an ominous symbol of Chinese control.

I’m not sure that Tibet becoming a religious monarchy again is such a good idea. The Dalai Lama doesn’t even think this is possible or good either. But the Tibetans do need the ability to open business and better ways of assimilating rather than being shut out. And it’s so sad, not only are the Tibetans not allowed to own business (except under extreme circumstances) they can’t even look at a picture of the symbol of their culture, a picture of the Dalai Lhama.

It’s Easter. Mulan got a basket with candy and we went on an Easter egg hunt. Next year Mulan will be too old for it – many of her friends parents who have kids just a wee bit older than Mulan have given up on it, and I suspect that next year will be her last with this sort of thing. But it does feel like Spring! Eggs and hotter whether. Grills and outdoor heaters (Michael is putting one together as I type…)

Last night Michael and I watched all the trailers for “Expelled,” the anti-evolution, intelligent design movie that Ben Stein made, or appears to have made, that’s opening in movie theaters on April 18th. I am just speechless.

Well, sort of.

What it made me feel most of all wasn’t anger, it wasn’t defeat or fear either. It was just this overwhelming tiredness. I feel so weary. It made me want to sleep and just try to get away from people who want to debate this topic at all.

To be honest, this shouldn’t even be something that is even being debated. It only continues to be in the public discourse at all because of the lack of sophisticated science education amongst the general public, coupled with groups who have a vested interest in keeping people confused on these matters, mixed with a darker push from elected officials (and some judges and those in power, funded by the more conservative religious groups) who use issues like this to rile people up and make the more complicated, truer view of life’s nature and origins seem as though it’s a debate between those who are moral and good and those who are cruel and heartless. So that when people skim the issue it appears as though those people (on the side of God) are the moral and just ones. They’re nicer. Cause, y’know, they believe in God. They are “open” to a God implanting and guiding life to it’s crowning glory, human beings! ARGH.

And I just… oh jeez.

Ben Stein once did a Groundling show, an improv show, that I was a part of. I found him to be spectacularly ill-informed and narcissistic and weirdly devoted to his schtick and worst of all, hacky. He didn’t listen to his fellow performers and played everything outward to his friends in the audience who laughed (fake, forced) at every single thing he did. When he became known as a “thinker” – when his public persona became the “smart guy” I was astounded. So this type of film does not come as any surprise.

I can’t listen to his voice. I can’t stand how he draws out his vowels in that fake-professorial way. He’s a cartoon character, for God’s sake.

But to a lot of people he will appear to make sense. His style will have the stamp of truthfulness to it (because his voice sounds so… um… smart!) and it will also make people feel better about what they already believe and what has made them feel comfortable their whole lives. And yet, if his mission is realized, which is to change education practice so that evolution isn’t taught properly, it will only end up handicapping our kids in a world who is – generally – moving towards a greater understanding of science which can lead to advances in technology which can lead to – well, it can lead to prosperity among other things. So they want evolution out, and handicapping their kids science education in, and yet they want a better and brighter future for their kids.

I hope this movie dies a horrible and embarrassing death.

“What The Bleep Do We Know?” gave some people a cheap and temporary spiritual blast of hot air and now this movie will give some people a cheap reason to be self-righteous in the name of science when they are being anything BUT. ARGH.

Well, I guess I am a little angry.

Anyhoo – HAPPY EASTER!

I got up early and all I’ve been “ripping” (as-they-say) is Duke Ellington. I guess I didn’t have all my music organized in alphabetical order. It was at one point. Anyway, it’s a Duke Ellington morning. Who knew I had so much and why do I have so much? I mean, I feel a little Duke Ellington goes a long way. But then, I feel badly if I consider not putting it in my music library when I have it.

I am not going to TAM this year. I love TAM too, I’m going to miss it. I have another thing planned then, and it was going to be too hard. And also, as Mulan gets older, she gets harder to leave rather than easier. Now she’s this person I am so entrenched with, in this never ending conversation with, and she has all her classes and so forth, and taking her with me (which I have done before) is difficult because she is not into the skeptic conventions yet and leaving her here is too expensive and I don’t like it. Anyway, I decided to take a break for a year, maybe two, from the skeptic conferences. I don’t want anyone holding me to that – I am going to introduce someone at the Atheists Alliance International in the fall, which is going to be near where I live, in Los Angeles. But that is it. I have gotten some great emails about TAM, and I wish in some ways I were going. But I am not.

I am learning to navigate myself around my new website, and I put up the song that Jill Sobule wrote for my movie, a song called “Letting Go of God.” I think it’s a great song. I helped write the lyrics and anyway, you can listen or download it now off my home page and that makes me so happy.

I’m working now on a trailer for the film – actually a couple of versions of the trailer and the website that will be devoted just to Letting Go of God – the movie. And the forum is going to be back soon, by the end of next week, maybe sooner.

I would still be happy to support Hillary if she gets the nomination. But I think we have an opportunity with Barack that is irresistible. Now I can’t remember if I put this in a blog entry before or not, but last Fall when I was going to vote in our primary – oh jeez, that wasn’t last Fall, that was in February! Lord. Anyway, I was driving to my voting place and Mulan asked me if I were voting for Barack or for Hillary, and I said “Barack” and she said, “Yeah, because a woman can’t be president, right?” OH! That just killed me! It almost made me change my vote right there. Of course all I do now is drill into her how it is possible for a woman to be president and wouldn’t that be wonderful if she were and blah blah blah. Then later, when I was listening to Barack give the speech this week on race, she was listening with me. Now, to Mulan, Barack is not of another race than well, anyone else. He is just a guy. For her the difference between people if mainly if are they are male or female or they are kids or adults and if they are easy or strict. Race is not on her radar in any way. It would be so awesome to have a woman be our president. But I just… It’s very hard for me to like Hillary. Just everything in me, just… well, it’s hard for me. And I hate her religiosity. And I hate that she voted for the war.

Okay, I’m rehashing everything again. BORING.

If anyone is watching “Make Me A Supermodel” on Bravo – and I confess, against all my better judgment, I am -- mostly because of Mulan (see how I blame her!?) – I think Perry will win. But I like Ronnie the best. And I like how Holly looks the best – even amongst all the models – I like her look. But jeez, she starts talking and she’s like a roaming baby deer wandering on the freeway. But then she does the catwalk and she’s all THAT. I don’t know, I like her. The former prison guard frightens me. He seems to be playing out that time old, homophobia, homoerotic dance that feels like it’s going to end up with someone getting killed, where he is the killer. That is probably not fair, just a feeling, y’know… I think Perry will win because he’s got the right personality for a TV competition win, big and grand, young and beautiful, outrageous and insecure, needing it and heterosexual, but willing to do anything with anyone, reckless and arrogant, he's got it all. But Ronnie! Ronnie! He deserves it, I swear, he really does.

Neil Young. Young Fresh Fellows. Violent Femmes. This is what I’m downloading tonight. I can see I am nearing the end of the alphabet. I think two more days and I’m done downloading all my music. This is very exciting.

The forum is going to return! It has taken a while, and I almost dispensed with it, but I am inspired to have it again. This time the company that hosts my website is going to build and host it, so it will not crash. I will have my same administrator as before. It should be up and running by the end of next week.

Tonight I had over two friends who live in Santa Fe who I haven’t seen in years. They bought their son, who is around Mulan’s age. It used to be that Mulan would play with boys and girls the same, I mean, she didn’t differentiate between the sexes that much. What meant the most to Mulan was that they were a kid. But now I can see it creeping in, the “he” is “other” kind of feeling. As in, “he’s not going to play American Girl dolls with me, so what is the point?” Ah, me.

I am a Obama supporter. I loved his speech, the one he gave yesterday. I read it first and it was so eloquent and it made me feel so patriotic – unexpectedly, deeply, actually tearing up and all that. Later I heard an excerpt on the radio, of Barack actually giving the speech and I thought it didn’t sound as good. But still. He’s awesome. I would support Hillary if she gets the nomination, but Barack has my unabashed enthusiasm.

Also, on the religion front (since that’s what I normally make comments about…) I feel Barack is more sincere about it than Hillary. (You know, I hate using his last name and her first name –that feels unfair somehow – but saying “Clinton” also feels wrong – “Clinton” to me is Bill Clinton. And Hillary is… Hillary.) Anyway, when Barack talks about his religiosity, I sense a genuine desire to be part of a religious tradition and he admits that he has deep doubt and that his faith has always included doubt, deep doubt. But Hillary – I don’t know. I feel she is pandering when she talks about religion. I mean I guess they are both doing that, but someone I don’t buy it with Hillary – or I feel that if it is truly sincere, it’s scary sincere.

*** I wrote this blog entry this weekend in Spokane, and now I am back in L.A. I read the comments on my last entry and I'm so happy that here are other Bravo reality show junkies out there! I am into Make Me A Supermodel too - even though I really, really hate that show. Mulan is the one who makes me watch it. (See how I blame her?) Anyway, here's my entry today **


I am in Spokane, visiting my mother, who is recovering from a surgery to her foot, and she is in a wheelchair. My brother, who broke his back last summer after falling backwards off of a tool case while changing a light bulb, (hospital for months, five surgeries, walks slowly with a cane now and still recovering) is living with my mother and caring for her. My mother got MRSA while she was in the hospital – which is that horrible Superbug that is mostly anti-biotic resistant, and she has to be on this specialized super-specific-anti-biotic drip for an hour a day and my brother Bill is administering the drip. He’s gotten good at it. That’s because while he was in the hospital in Seattle, he also got MRSA (!) and had to be on a drip for several months. He also had to have many surgeries where they opened him up and put these anti-biotic beads right on the infection (in his back – ug!) Now he’s taking care of my mom. MRSA is really scary. For example, more people die from MRSA infections in the U.S. than from AIDS. (Now if I were online right now, I would go check if that were true, but my doctor told me that.) Not all hospitals test for it when patients arrive. I know Cedars does, in Los Angeles. According to my mother’s nurse who was here when we arrived in Spokane yesterday, it’s not contagious unless someone actually touches the open wound, or if the person has MRSA in their lungs, which means they could cough and someone else could get it that way. While I had the flu last month, I did a lot of reading about MRSA. I’m tell you, MRSA is so frightening.
So, we can’t do much, because my mom is in the wheelchair. But we did manage to go downtown to the movies last night. Mulan and I saw “Horton Hears A Who.” My mother saw “The Other Boleyn Girl” in the theater next door. We wheeled her in, and I am so appreciative of those wheel chair spaces now – for parking and for movies. Mulan and I absolutely loved “Horton.” She was laughing so hard – truly guffawing, big deep belly laughs. It’s really a great movie and adults will like it too. I would see it again. And it looks fabulous and it moves along and it’s really funny.
This is what I’m thinking about on the religion front lately, which is this: how it’s so useful and why it evolved. Well, I guess I’m always thinking about that, but I am turning over a certain aspect of it now. I think that’s because I have been marveling of late over the migration of humans. Michael, Mulan and I all had our DNA tested by this National Geographic migration of humans thing (you can find out about it on their website.) They test the mitochondria of your dna – which runs through the female line, mother to children – the father’s mitochondria doesn’t get inherited. This way they can follow a path of migration from Africa, through the world, through the mother’s line. (Men can get their Y chromosome tested, too, as well as their mitochondria.) Anyway, I found it to be really interesting and since we got our results back – all of ours were typical and no surprises for our race or heritage – I’ve been thinking about humans on the move.
As a species, we are so migrating-y. I’ve been musing about how many people, in the history of our species, picked up and left and never saw their parents again (or friends or loved ones) and how did they do it? Just think of how many generations of this – pre-phones and pre-mail, and pre-knowledge even of what was ahead. The terrifying decisions to setout, the millions of times this has happened, the slow and random and deliberate and desperate and determined journey. And they would never see their loved ones again. And likely die along the way because there was so little knowledge of what lied ahead. I mean, a lot of the time.
I have been thinking of more recent history too; and about my own genetic history, which is predominantly Irish. So many of my relatives left Ireland, never to see their country again, never to look in the face of their parents again. And how typical that really is – how traveling we (as a species) are, how daring and brave and probably stupid too. And anyway, I have just been thinking about that a lot.
And then that made me think about faith and belief and I imagine that if you believed you were going to see your loved ones again, somehow, someway, after death, in some enlightened place, well, the leaving would be much, much easier. If we didn’t believe in reunions after death and fate and destiny and all that – well, we might not have traveled all that far.
I have been reading a lot lately about those recent experiments – about the placebo effect in regards to the price of painkillers. They gave patients with pain two pills – both of which were sugar pills which did nothing at all – and one pill cost a low price and one pill cost a high price and the high priced pill gave significantly more relief than the lower priced pill. This kind of study – while its results are not surprising to me, are deeply unsettling. It makes me ask questions of myself – like about my own skepticism. I am still on the fence over whether it has really enhanced my life in some ways. In some ways it definitely has – on balance it is a great thing. But believing in something – which this study proves is real – can deliver real physiological effects. And, well, it all just makes me think about, well – all of that.
Hmmmm….


Today we are going to go to a tux shop to rent a tux for my brother for the wedding and we are going to the carousel downtown and probably to Auntie’s Bookstore where Mulan wants to get a book about dinosaurs. And it’s the St. Patrick’s Day parade today here too.

Okay, I wrote that this morning. Now my mother and my brother and I are in a big discussion about generic drugs. My mother says she believes the name brand drugs do work better. She really believes they do. She thinks that the name brand drugs come from companies that are more reliable and care more about their products having the accurate, quality ingredients. And so naturally she feels they work better. Hmmm… I don’t know if that is an elaborate excuse or a good reason to get name brand and not generic.

I can say this, believing is useful. So, the question becomes, how far do you want to look into something that is working for you if you believe it? It’s not just about religion, it pervades everything.

OMG I am so blogging all the time now. Thank you so much for the great comments!!!! Oh! I loved the one about believing in the myth of ourselves. That was such an awesome post and so true and so chilling and I can’t stop thinking about that. And the Nilsson fans! I absolutely must get that Randy Newman Harry Nilsson CD, I must I must. I just have one song with that combination of people, and that is Randy Newman singing “Remember” which Nilsson wrote. I watched everything on YouTube that you could watch of Nilsson. I want to see that movie about him too.

Today I loaded on so much Bruce Springsteen. Someone came to one of my shows, a long time ago, and they brought with them all the major Springsteen Cds which had been reissued with bonus Cds and enhanced liner notes and gave them to me! So I finally got all that music on my computer. Then a lot of Nina Simone and Frank Sinatra and Syd Straw. That was my day, music wise today.

Largo, this club that I occasionally perform at – lately mostly with Jill Sobule -- is moving it's location to the Coronet Theater – on La Cienega, where I did "God Said Ha!" for many months. I love that theater. Flanagan and I were talking about it yesterday before Jill did her show last night – we may do the Jill & Julia show there in the little theater (there will be two theaters…) Randy Newman even may be doing something there – stay tuned. I am really excited for Flanney to get into this space, this is going to be great, I think.

Today I worked on my book for only two hours. I am trying to turn off the Internet connection, along with the phone and even the stereo and write for three hours a day. That may seem like a short amount of time, but let me tell you, this is so hard to accomplish. But so far, I am really into it. And I’ve had a good week. Then, I rewarded myself and I spoke to a friend who owns a bakery about a wedding cake. That was basically my day. Then, for dinner, I grilled salmon outside on the bbq and asparagus and red pepper. A good eating day.

I am so all over this Spitzer stuff. I can’t stop reading about it. The girl was – is – only 22. God, his daughters are probably near that age – it’s so awful. I didn’t like his resignation speech or his “yes, I did it” speech. So disappointing. I flip flop on how I feel about prostitution. Basically I think it should be legalized, but I just read Kristof’s op-ed in the New York Times about how it’s worked – legalizing prostitution – in other countries and I guess, well, not so clearly a good thing. In any case, it’s so compelling. What is his wife feeling, thinking – is she on automatic? She might not be able to really process much if this was a big shock (and how could it not have been?) – but Lordy, Lordy.

I am confessing this: I watched “The Housewives of New York City.” I watched the first episode last week and the second one last night. That show is also deeply disturbing. There is a scene with one of the mothers, one of the… housewives… talking her overweight daughter into going to a “de-tox” on Martha’s Vineyard. She suggests to her daughter that she should “want” to go – coaches her into saying she wants to go to lose weight, and in one second, gets self righteous and asks her daughter to thank her for sending her. I watched that scene twice. I thought, “I could write a whole screenplay based on that one scene.”

My gateway drug with the reality shows is/was Project Runway, which I think is one of the best shows on TV. I love that show, I have no guilt over that show, that is a great show. I have never seen creative people compete in such a realistic and unpredictable and compelling way as it is on that show. But then – but then, I watched previews for other Bravo shows and I got into “The Millionaire’s Matchmaker” and then, now, this, the lowest of the low – the Housewives of New York City. As my future mother-in-law said, because she also watched an episode, also because she watched Project Runway – which I got her into – she said, “Shows like that just show you… well, it’s time for revolution.”

Oh! This is why I love the Internet age. Darden Smith! Darden Smith! I love(d) Darden Smith – I have two albums of his, I went to one of his concerts a long, long time ago. And I get to look him up and read about him! He has a blog. Sure, he hasn’t written in about a year, but still, you get the gist. I also loaded on a lot of NRBQ today too – oh, I forgot to mention that. Oh NRBQ. How I love that band. Big Al.

I was so glad to read the post from the philosophy professor too. Thank you so much. I have to finish my book and at least get it out there. If the movie isn’t going to be prominent – well, at least the book can be counted amongst the books about this topic. Anyway, your comment will keep me writing tomorrow too.

I got the flu. I was so sick. I am only now getting back to somewhat of a normal state. Tomorrow I’m working out at the gym for the first time in a month. This is noteworthy, I never go that long unless I’m traveling. It’s weird to be sick. It makes you sad. That seems like a no-brainer, but I’m telling you I was seriously sad.

I am still not sure what’s happening with the movie. We didn’t get into any of the major film festivals and we are waiting to find out about some smaller ones. I am hankering to just release the thing – get it out there myself. I liked doing it with the CD and there is something very tactile about releasing something yourself on the Internet, it is very empowering. Even though I hate that word, “empowering.”

While I was sick, I began to load my Cds onto my iTunes on my computer. I had, or rather have, a very large collection of music. Well, anyway, I think it’s big. I only had loaded maybe 10% of my music. Now I’ve been trying to load 40 to 50 Cds a day. While I load the CD, I have been looking up the band or musician online and reading about the person. I read their bio on Wikipedia and then maybe go to their website. Some people are completely out of the business (for example, Jim Ruiz) but most people are doing something. It’s a very nice thing to do. It’s like I’m getting to know all these old friends again. God, everyone has a website. I know, duh. But still, I can look at David Byrne’s website if I want to – like I just did. Or Sinead O’Connor, or the Bodeans – god, I went once to see the Bodeans at the Roxy by myself – those were the days! I listened to all my Nirvana and read about everyone after Kurt Cobain died. I really like Dave Grohl and have followed him and the Foo Fighters. In fact I ran into him at a restaurant a couple of years ago. When they were on SNL, Dave Grohl and his mother and I rode around in a limo after one show and laughed and laughed. Then when I ran into him at this restaurant, his mother happened to be in town and he said, “You probably think I never go anywhere without her!” They were funny and nice. When the band – Nirvana, was on the show the first time – god they were so young, so green, so talented, so on the edge. I remember hanging out and talking about Seattle like we were all from the same hometown. Anyway, I listened to “Nevermind” and “In Utero” and then I got into a big Cranberries jag and a bunch of Dinah Washington, David Newman (I told Michael I had a crush on a man, born in 1930, and his name is David Newman – according to Wikipedia he just joined the band on Letterman – like in the last year - just for a day, filling in - he's that kind of guy...) and then onto Harry Nilsson – god! He was so good. I love his song, “1941” – that is just the most chilling song, EVER. I played “Gotta Get Up” for Mulan and we’ve been dancing around the kitchen to that. She loved it so much she wanted to sing along, and I found the lyrics online and printed them out. I didn’t realize there is one lyric that is about a sailor who comes and “pounds” a girl for a couple of days before he goes off again to sea. Mulan asked, “What does that mean, ‘pounds’ her for a couple of days?” I was so thrown – I feel like an old bitty. I said, “It means he pounded on her door – like, ‘Are you there?” LORD.

Speaking of The Lord, and therefore our cultural mythology, I am reading Joseph Campbell’s “Myths to Live By.” It’s so extraordinary. I am loving it so much, it's exactly the right thing for me to be reading right now. It’s a collection of essays written between the late sixties through the mid-seventies. My thinking is that we must have some myths that we indulge in to get us through the precariousness of life. Some illusion is necessary. But what is your illusion going to be? And once you know it is an illusion, can you keep using it? Does it work? My mother has no problem with this – acknowledging that something isn’t true, but continuing to believe in it. Not just religion, lots of things. For me, it does get tainted, I can’t keep up the fantasy once the curtain is lifted. I used to think this was a good trait in myself, but now I’m not so sure. But I think it’s cause I’m just getting back to normal from this damn flu.

Oh. Oh, oh. I am listening to David Byrne sing “A Soft Seduction” from his Feelings album. IT”S SO GREAT!!!!

I am beat and it's late so this will be short. Thanks for the posts! I spent a big part of today working on the tedious details of putting up a new website, and much talk about the forum. Unfortunately, we have to start from scratch, people! ARGH. Oh, this is just so frustrating. The good news is that I can get to the "Who are you people anyway" entries and at least save them. The new forum should be up in a week at the latest. Oh! Oh! Oh! This all just KILLS me.

Thanks for all the posts. Oh the Catholics who think they can do anything as long as they confess! That is so terribly disturbing and screwed up. And I was a bit like that back when I was a Catholic. Thank God I am not a Catholic now. I mean, thank my mind. Or thank those two Mormon missionaries who saved me inadvertently.

Any news? Well, the Jill and Julia show should be open by September, the movie will be released at least on DVD by August or September. Project Runway rules, Mulan and I watched raptly tonight. I vacillate between Obama and Clinton... and even Edwards. I'm getting married in May. I am trying to finish my book by the end of March. (I know, I've said that before...) I had a long talk with a guy in Portland tonight, I'm doing my show, "Letting Go of God" there May 28, and now I have to read a book with Mulan before she goes to bed. That is everything I can think of for the time being...

Julia