A Strange Influenza

I am still so sick, I can barely move. I walk around the house all hunched over, moaning involuntarily. I had to cancel performing at the opening of CFI West tonight. I am just so sick. I feel awful about canceling, but it's really out of my hands -- I simply cannot leave the house. This means I will also be missing the lecture at Cal Tech tomorrow, which I was really looking forward to. Damn.

The hardest time to be a single mom is when you're sick. Obviously my daughter has no idea why I'm laying around moaning and sweating and then alternately freezing. Last night was tough. It's easy to feel sorry for yourself in this situation. I have only been this sick around my daughter once before. It was really difficult. But today the babysitter arrived and now I can take a nap. My daughter and I spent the morning playing with this Maisy doll cutout game. Sometimes, I would just have to lay my head on the dining room table and breathe slowly. I told her I had a bug and her eyes were like saucers when I told her that. She wanted to know how the bug got into my body and if he was eating my lunch in my stomach and when he was going to come out.

I heard a line once -- that to have a child is to have your heart walking around in someone else's body. That is so true.