Saturday, May 14, 2005

A Small Window

Well, it was a really fun show tonight. It was packed, we had as many people as we could possibly have in the theater. I was seized with a wish that I wasn’t closing the show in three weeks.

Even though I really must.

I can’t seem to finish the book while doing the show. I don’t know why, but I just can’t seem to. So I gotta take a break.

Plus, there are lots of interesting job possibilities afoot that I cannot talk about. That has been keeping me up at night. Reconfiguring, rethinking, imagining, worrying. All will soon be clear. Or gone.

Oh, how cryptic of me.

Okay, here’s something. I have two friends who are about to be ordained Jesuit priests. Well, one is someone I consider to be a friend. The other is an acquaintance. I really like them both a lot. They are funny and smart. They are eager and sincere. But, we obviously have very different views of the world.

I got an invitation to the ordination in Spokane. (They are being ordained at the same time.) I sort of didn’t know what to do. Imagine if I had sent them an invitation to my “High Priestess of Atheism” ordination. What would they do?

I finally settled on sending the one who I truly consider to be a friend a note saying, “I am so happy for you. You know I feel so differently about the world and hope that someday you see things my way, just as you probably wish I saw things your way, blah blah blah. But I am happy that you have achieved your dream.” And I figured out a present that I think he’d like.

But then, this week, I got an e-mail from the other acquaintance-person-about-to-be-ordained that said, “Protect the God-ordained institution of marriage! Go to and sign a petition to save marriage.”


What am I to do with this? I opted for: ignore it.

Then I come home later in the day and see that another person who received this message (there were about fifty people on the address list) wrote to all us “reply all”s, and said, “What difference does it make if two consenting adults want the same legal rights that marriage affords? Please take me off your mailing list.” And then another e-mail from another person said, “Yeah, I agree. Please take me off the mailing list.”

So that made me feel better about writing something. And I wrote something short and quick, something like, “are you talking about the Judeo-Christian God who’s Bible is full of men who marry as many women as they can afford and have relations with their female slaves, and it’s all condoned by God?” or something like that. And then, of course, “take me off your mailing list.”

I almost regretted the last part because I am sort of intrigued by what these types of people send each other. I hate to only hear from those who have opinions I already agree with. But on the other hand, these types of people – there’s no getting anywhere with them. They are stuck in their point of view (as I imagine they feel I am about mine) and there’s no changing it. It’s pointless and depressing to see their e-mails.

Anyway, I write this whole long boring story to get to one thing. I got an e-mail back from one of the people on the list that said “Keep this kind of thing off the internet!”

At first, I thought this person was responding to the entire group about the entire topic and message. But then I realized it was addressed to only me. So he wanted ME and MY message – not just off the e-mail list, but off the INTERNET.

Which made me laugh, almost, all day. Honestly, I giggled about this intermittently all day long.

Me, me? Me and my measly off handed comment about the realities of the God they worship’s views about marriage? Not the 50 ads for penis enlargement or the 75 ads for lonely housewives waiting for fun that we all must get in our e-mail baskets every single day? Not the full-on pornography, bestiality or child porn? ME??? Me and my little comment, this is what this guy wants to keep off the entire Internet?

Then I got a one other comment from a woman who said, “If you are going to quote the Bible…” (I didn’t quote the Bible, I merely made a comment about the God of the Bible’s view of marriage) you must know that the Bible says, “A man shall not lie with another man.”

And then, before I could even fantasize about writing this woman back, saying, “Yes, the Bible does say that, about two lines after it says that children should be stoned to death for disobeying their parents and about three lines later it says that you can’t eat meat unless the animals first born male has been sacrificed (by burning) and about five lines later it says that if you are a woman and you are menstruating, if you leave the house, you will be outcast from the tribe for all time…

But oh yes, that’s what the BIBLE says – a man should not “lie” with another man!!!! Before I can write this rant, or even fully fantasize about it, this woman says, “I have banned you from ever e-mailing me again.”

HAHAHAHAHA! Oh. Oh… Like I’m going to barrage this woman with e-mails. Like…she really got me! I was looking forward to a big e-mail debate!

Now, dear reader, can you see how I am so burnt out on the God stuff? And yes, I hear you, why did I even write my e-mail to begin with?

But let’s not think of that. Let’s think about my delightful audience tonight. And what a lucky girl I am to be able to perform this show. And how sad I am it is about to end…

After the show I spoke to a woman about how my show appeals to people over forty for sure, and mostly people over fifty or sixty. And she said, I think that hormones control your life for so long, you can barely think. And then you get older, the hormones die down and it’s not all about procreating anymore and you get to wake up and see the world for what it is. And then when you think how dementia and Alzheimer’s and so forth can easily rob you of your brain in your older years, it only leaves you with this small window of clear thinking.

Wow. I never thought about it quite like that before.

I do think she’s right, there’s such a small window when you are smart enough to know things, courageous enough to see things clearly, and have enough acuity of mind to really experience the world. Its so short. Such a short little window in life.

Tomorrow, oh, now in fact – today – I am going to go to the Skeptics conference at Cal Tech. So I gotta get to sleep. I think if I meet Susan Blackmore I will absolutely die from happiness.

And! My house is so ready for the party! I hardly have to do anything. I got almost everything done today.

Yippity yah!