Last Friday, Jill Sobule and I did a "Jill & Julia Show" together at the Lakeshore Theater here in Chicago. We have two more scheduled: April 24 & May 29. We had a fairly packed house and the audience was really responsive and enthusiastic. I am hoping this is just the beginning as Jill and I start to do shows monthly for... for... EVER.

Jills’ fabulous new album, “The California Years” comes out April 14 and when she was in town she recorded for the radio show “Sound Opinions” which is heard here on WBEZ, the NPR affiliate, Anyway, I got to be her driver! And that means I got to hang out with Jim DeRogatis & Greg Kot, who are the hosts. This is a picture of all of us on the recording day. I’m a huge fan of that show and it was a thrill to see inside the WBEZ station.

I have to say, I'm loving it here. I actually really, really liked the cold weather. Now it seems to be turning into spring. (Michael says I should expect snow up till May! But it feels very springy to me.) Every day I walk to the beach – to Lake Michigan which is just over a mile away from our house. I take my dog Arden and we go to this little park in Kennilworth – we sit on the bench and look at the water. Wait, I can’t say honestly that Arden looks at the water. Today the waves were really crashing and it was windy and I tried to see if he was looking at the water, but instead I believe he was obsessed with the absurd number of crazed squirrels that are running here and there and everywhere because it’s spring and the squirrels have gone mad.

It may not seem like it, but in Los Angeles there are, in fact, seasons. Subtle fluctuations, more rain here, more heat there. But I'm dense and I need blunt, clear seasons. And Chicago seems to fit the bill. When it’s winter, it’s doesn’t fuck around. It’s COLD. And WHITE. And ICEY. Now it's spring. Squirrels are going apeshit, delirious with the sun beating down on them. They're so high on spring they don't seem to be very wary of my dog, who has ripped out the heart of a squirrel - right before my very eyes (and screaming mouth.) This was four years ago in L.A., but still - Arden means business when he goes after a squirrel. I have to be vigilant with the leash, I cannot space out. Lives are at stake.

The lake is spectacular when it’s cold and freezing. In February, there were days of all white and the lake frozen as far as you could see. I didn't know that could happen, but it did. At this little park it often felt like I'd stepped into a painting. I would stand and stare at the still icey water and when I moved I half expected someone to yell at me - don't! - I was ruining the whole frozen scene.

I am happy to report that everything I hoped would happen by moving here has happened. Which means that my head is much less jumbled and I feel much less frantic. My parenting duties – the part I don’t so much like - shuttling Mu around for example – has been reduced by 80%. Where Mulan had to be driven 5 times a week for 7.5 miles each way in terrible traffic to get to gymnastics in Los Angeles, here it’s 2.4 miles in absolutely no traffic. And when you get there, there are so many parking spaces you want to pray in thankgiving (THERE IS NO GOD BUT THE PARKING GOD.) I keep hollering out to Mulan, (as I drive the minivan - she sits in the way, way back...) “Look, just look at all the parking spaces!!! Isn’t it just… beautiful?” I nearly wept the first time I pulled into the recreation center here. I thought I had gotten mixed up and it was some shut-down day. No, it was not. It's just... the space. The space.

Also, Mulan walks herself to school. I cannot emphasize what a change in my life this is. Did you hear me, she walks to school on her own?!? That means she gets herself out the door, and walks home too. She's her own person, and she loves it. I didn't know my dream was to be a mini-van driving housefrau with a school a block away, but here I am. I am living the dream. And I didn't even know this was my dream. I just stumbled into it.

Mulan has adjusted more quickly than I expected. She has friends, she has playdates, she’s getting good marks in school. She liked the snow when it was here, and is signed up for lots of summer classes at Gilson park right on Lake Michgan. She wants to learn how to sail. What’s not to love about this?

Well, it’s not cool. That IS true. It’s not hip. It’s very, very white – I mean Caucasian - where we live. (It’s not just the white snow, it’s the people too!) When I recently went to a benefit performance at Mulan’s school put on by the parents, I was shocked at how lilly white everyone was. And young. (I was actually asked if I were Mulan's grandmother by one teacher. !!! &*%$#@)

Y'know, I'm used to L.A., in the heart of the city, and Mulan’s old elementary where the, ahem... western european americans... were in a minority. I had gotten accustomed to that, it made me feel more “in the mix” of the world than out of it. Now I live in the suburbs. It’s not vibrant with immigrant life just outside my door – and that makes me feel sad. Even though I live not far from the village of my village. Not Larchmont village in L.A., but still... it's its own place. It has cobble stone streets. Seriously. Streets, cobbled.

Lots of days I don’t get in the car. I have a treadmill in the basement and I can work out there. I have a post office a block away and I can send DVDs off to Amazon there. The Metra (commuter train) is very near and downtown Chicago is 28 minutes away. I have time to think. And it’s glorious. I told Michael recently that I was so glad I hadn't died before now, I wouldn’t know I could be this happy.

It's become clearer, now that I’m here, that my life is focused on four partnerships.

Me and Michael.
Me and Mulan.
Me and Jill Sobule doing stage shows together.
Me and Jim Emerson. Jim has been one of my closet friends since we met when I was 17. He lives in Seattle and we are writing something together right now. It’s such a joy. Why didn’t we do this years ago? Well, we did. We wrote several things together. Jim even wrote for a bit on SNL. But Jim moved back to Seattle. Now we work by phone. It’s so enjoyable and ten times more productive than when I was writing on my own. Jim has the best blog, btw. He is the editor of Roger Ebert’s website and also has his own blog. Go to http://blogs.suntimes.com/scanners/.

Jill’s website is www.jillsobule.com

Well, that's all for now...

This is a picture of my dog, Arden. I am too swamped today to walk him, but at least I get to honor him with a picture on this blog. Somehow I don't think he thinks this is a good trade-off.

My DVD is finally finished and available. You can get it on Amazon.com or from Skeptic.com or at ffrf.org. Amazon doesn’t have it as a possible in-your-hands-date until Dec. 11th even though I shipped them the DVDs. I'm breathing a sigh of relief that the finishing of it all has been accomplished. It’s done, done, done. Also, if you’re interested, you can view the trailer, the audience q & a, and the audience interviews on YouTube. If you go to my website, and look under “Stuff I’m doing” and click on Letting Go of God – you’ll get the mini-web-page for the DVD and a pointer to the extras on YouTube.

I'm still in the after-glow of Obama winning the presidency. I'm ooing and ahing over each cabinet nomination. I have been convinced that Hillary Clinton is a good pick for Secretary of State, even though foreign affairs seems to have been the topic on which she and Barack most diverged. But I think Hillary was making herself out to be more of a hawk than she really is. She had to prove she could be tough and aggressive as a woman, and that is one way to flex your muscles. I’m hoping she does eventually become President, after eight years of Obama. I also hope that she can remake the Secretary of State job into something that she can use to promote herself as President even though history has not been kind to Secretary of State presidential bids. But we’re in a new era, and she can recreate that role.

There are numerous things regarding the Obama Presidency that I’m chewing on and mulling over, but one of the most inconsequential and picayune (and yet real) is this: , Barack Obama is younger than me. By two years. Two years younger! Seeing what he has done with his life has made me reassess all my own life choices. For example, when Barack was at Harvard Law school I was spending most of my energy on guys and parties and writing skits. How was he so smart to marry someone else so smart, so young???

Obviously, I didn’t choose politics, but I just marvel at Barack’s skill at sizing up the playing fields within various institutions and coming out a winner. I realize how much younger, emotionally, I was, how naïve I was, how lacking in ambition I was in my twenties and thirties. I don’t feel bad about myself, I’m glad for all I’ve done. But Barack’s ability to excel just takes my breath away. He does his homework. I kind of tried to fudge my homework an hour before class.

The other thing I am thinking is that… wow… I’m middle aged. Really middle aged. In the middle. I have spoken about this with many of my friends and most of them seem to be going through the same emotional readjustment – we are older than our President! It used to be that old white guys were president. Now it’s a younger half-white guy. We are thrilled, we are supportive and we all could care less about skin color – but age.? The age thing! Younger? How can this be?

The last time this happened to me was when I began to notice that soldiers were younger than me. It was just the same thing. Soldiers were older men who fought for us and defended us. Suddenly they weren’t. They were younger guys who even looked like teenagers. Then we realized that many of them were teenagers. It was a shock.

I am starting to go into overwhelm as I get ready to move. The books in the living room are packed, but not the hallway. I have drawers full of old mail, receipts, half-written letters. I’m having to face all of it. It’s like going through your own dirty laundry and having to smell each piece of clothing closely. YUCK.

The protesters to Prop 8 are surrounding Saddleback Church (Pastor Rick Warren – The Purpose Driven Life) and the Cathedral downtown and the Mormon Temple in Westwood – and I think this is just awesome. These religious organizations gave millions to support Prop 8 and I’m so glad it’s getting riotous now. I want their reputations damaged over this. The writing is really on the wall in terms of gay marriage – it’s going to be law sooner or later. We know from the election that people under 40 voted overwhelmingly against the Prop that banned gay marriage. Time will make their wishes law as the older people die off -- that sounds so callous, but it’s true. I’m so glad that these churches are reaping the social damage that they have inflicted. I even suspect they don’t even care that much about two people of the same sex getting married anyway. I think this issue is being used to galvanize people toward their churches. But I think instead, they're alienating their future parishioner, forcing their base into a shrinking corner.

I am writing all day today and then doing a benefit tonight at the Geffen Theater for Autism – see autismspeaks.org. I am reading a few pages from “Letting Go of God.”

The picture of the day is of the three pumpkins that Mulan, Michael and I each carved for Halloween, dressed up in wigs and a hat by me and Mulan.

I packed three boxes of books last night, my first step towards moving day (which will be mid-December.) It felt good. I don't know why I don't have sad feelings leaving this house. I mean, I think I SHOULD feel sad. But I don't, not one bit. I just want to move. I'll be back here eventually - I'm renting the house while we're gone, which may be years. So maybe knowing that I will return makes it easier. On the other hand, when I think of even selling this place now - I don't think I would feel bad about that either! I have so much junk in my house that I'm exhilarated to be getting rid of, it's hard to work in my office when I really want to be filling boxes with things for Good Will. Everyone should move every ten years just to force themselves to confront their shit. Why do I keep so much junk? I want to be free of all of it!

My brother-in-law is visiting and yesterday afternoon we went to Baby Blues Barbecue in Santa Monica - simply the best BBQ anywhere. I ran into my business manager who was there with a friend who is a Baby Blues Barbecue fanatic. I have left-over ribs in the fridge. They are calling out to me, even now.

Tomorrow if Veteran's Day and Mulan is out of school. WHAT THE HELL!?!?!? Now that I am a parent, I am against all random one-day holidays.

Letting Go of God, the DVD, is available on Amazon and they've already ordered over a hundred copies - even though the DVD won't be shipped until Friday to Amazon and isn't officially available until Nov. 21st. This is great. Clips and interviews and some behind the scenes stuff is going up on UTube later this week.

Like everyone else, I am breathing again. I am exhilarated. I am giddy, I am relieved, and I am a little concerned about my new internet-news habit. I went from, only a few months ago, being a person who read the articles on Salon.com few-times-a-day to an impulsive online checker of the Huffington Post, Politico, The Daily Beast and others. I thought that once Barack won, I would calm down, but no, I have not. I am becoming obsessed with a whole new cast of characters. I knew who they were, like Rahm Emanuel, Valerie Jarrett, David Axelrod. But now I am oh-so-much-more interested. I am reading their Wikipedia entries, mulling over their life choices as I shop at the grocery store. It’s like West Wing is now Real Life!

I can’t write much, but I wanted to post something. I was so overwhelmed election night I got up and watched Obama’s speech again online and then read the text again in the morning. Brilliant, simple, eloquent, moving, perfect. I only wished for one thing that wasn’t there. When he said America was a country of black, white, asian, gay, straight– and then disabled, etc… I wished he had added religious and not religious. But I don’t want to criticize. I am so happy he is our new President. What a relief.

I am surprised at how much the weight of President Bush being our embarrassing and terrible president had on me. It’s all lifted now. I know, Obama hasn’t started yet and he will surely have an uphill battle and will make some false moves and all that – but what a RELIEF! I am over the moon. I am asking myself things like, “What would Obama do?” when it comes to personal and professional matters in my own life!!! I admit this is over the top. But I think that what impressed me the very most over these last few months was Obama’s temperament. As a person who works in Hollywood, when every script or character choice is all about maximizing emotion and pizzazz (most of the time) it’s nice to be reminded that being quiet, determined and forceful is a great way to win. I began to see McCain’s temperament (minus the backstabbing dirty politics) as me at my worst – emotional, impulsive, without researching enough, and Obama’s temperament more like the one I aspire to have: methodical, un-ruffable, plodding, thoughtful.

And how satisfying is Palin’s fall from grace? Is that bad to be giddy over it? I love that Obama didn’t have to do anything at all, she just revealed her true self and it was terrible and I was so glad! I know that doesn’t reveal my most charitable side, but GOD THAT WOMAN. I admit to relishing in her lack of knowledge about Africa being a continent and not knowing the countries in NAFTA. I admit that it’s petty! I love that she hanged herself. She did it all to herself. Oh, lord, it is true after all Character Is Fate.

I could not be more satisfied. Well – I hope Al Franken gets in, but all in all, I am really happy. Well, prop 8 won, that was terrible. Really bad. But it is all a matter of time for that one, I think.

p.s. my brother told me yesterday that Sarah Palin named her son Trig, Trig Van Palin because she is a Van Halen fan and... I guess rhyming Van Halen with her name is some sort of tribute. That gave me many good laughs yesterday. My friend Chris said if she was a true fan she would have done that with her eldest child and not waited so long.

p.p.s. The picture I posted (blogs always seem so much better with a picture) is of an American Girl doll bed that my friend Julia made for my daughter Mulan for her birthday. Mulan is best friends with her daughter Coco and there is much sadness about the fact that we are moving at the end of the year. The adults involved are all gaga over the bed, more so than the kids. We change the arrangement of the pillows, we turn the bed from winter time to summer time spreads, it's all very fun.

Thanks for all the notes. I’ve already ordered “The Feeling Of Being Right” from Amazon and read the article on the preacher Bess on Salon. The thing that bothers me the most about Sarah Palin at the moment is not her tanning bed, it’s the comment I read about her utter lack of curiosity when it came to managing the city and then governing the state. She didn’t care about policy or respect people who were actually doing the hard jobs. She devalued all of it.

I’ve had to take Excedrin P.M.s every night for the last five nights. I am so angry at John McCain. I am so livid with him. He is so careless with our future and so desperate in his own ambition that he has thrown us, possibly, to the wolves. He knows better too. He used to the Republican that knew the dark side, and now he’s joined it. You would think people would get some perspective with age, but he got less of it.

My favorite thing is reading how candidates or candidate’s wives have to revise their “narratives” as new facts come to light. The one I have lately enjoyed is that Cindy McCain used to say that Mother Teresa was at the orphanage when she fell in love with her soon-to-be-adopted daughter, and now she has had to revise it to the orphanage being one of Mother Teresa’s orphanages because Mother Teresa wasn’t there. I read a lot about her drug addictions and how she got her pain killers. God, it’s so bad! It’s really so bad. I mean if this were a screenplay, I would be saying that we couldn’t make the other party be so bad, so completely bad, it would be too unbelievable. But this is real life!

Anyway, let’s get back to Sarah Palin’s lack of curiosity. That is THE unforgivable sin, I think. Bush is not curious either. Facts to these people are simply bits of information that can be used or discarded depending on what they want. There is no spirit of inquiry. There seems to be no true interest in learning anything.

Is it bad that I am gleeful about the banking industry melting down? I heard on Marketplace today that the Lehman Bros. CEO got 40 million dollars last year. They were lamenting pay structures that reward people based on profits over a very short period of time. The commentator was saying that these bonuses should be based on ten years or even twenty years of management that shows growth. The way it is now, there is no incentive to make the company profitable over a long sustainable timetable. That’s the Bush administration. That’s the Republican party right now, doing anything at all to win in the short term, screwing us all just to stay in power at any cost.

What about the morality of the media trainers who have surely been with Sarah Palin non-stop? I am so offended by the lack of morality of these people. Frankly, I am outraged. Why isn’t someone stepping forward? I don’t want to read the books that will be written years from now about these people saying, “Yes, Sarah was an idiot, I had to work with her non-stop to get her up to speed – even just a little bit. But I didn't know then how bad it was going to be.” It’s so immoral of them! Where are the Republicans who can’t stomach it anymore? Why aren’t they talking?

That SNL opening Sarah Palin/ Hilary Clinton sketch last night was one of the best things I’ve ever seen on that show. They nailed it. It was everything it should be and more. I hope that sketch is YouTubed to oblivion and the message is actually heard! I hope every news show repeats it. I hope everyone watches it at least twice (I watched it three times in a row.) OHMYGOD, Tina Fey nailed that accent. I am having hope! Amazing, I am having hope for the country from an SNL sketch. But really, truly, I do I do I do.

The problem with accepting the general lack of intelligence of the public about politics and government is that you are left with feeling cynical. I accept that this is the trade off. Either I believe in the basic decency and innate intelligence of people and then am constantly upset and disappointed, or I think most people are idiots – get a better night’s sleep, but go on my dog walk in the morning and feel superior and cynical. I am not used to feeling this way. Of course I am painting this in extremes. But it’s unsettling.

I got a GREAT night’s sleep last night. I imagined John McCain in office. I tried to accept it in my mind as a possible outcome. Hey, I’d probably sell more copies of Letting Go of God! People’s righteous anger at the establishment would be fueled more with a Republican!

Hmmm… Sooooo not worth it.

And now I’m feeling slimey. I am not used to this cynical way of looking at things – at least not this DEEPLY cynical. I am going to try to take the weekend off from thinking about it.

For the first time I really, really wished I were still on SNL because Obama was going to be on it tonight. But now this is cancelled because of the hurricanes. Apparently he will still appear before the election. I loved the View ladies with McCain, although I thought they let him get away with way too much! They asked tough questions but then they let him spin it too far into his schpeel. He repeated the ridiculous assertion that Palin was referencing Abraham Lincoln when she spoke to her church about the war.

It made me fantasize about the moment when Palin’s media coach came to her with that idea. “You know, maybe you were really just referencing Abraham Lincoln at that church. He said we should be not be praying that God is on our side but that we are on God’s side.” I want to slow the camera down, I want her to blink in a close up. What went through her mind? Is this just a game to her? Did she have any moment of self-reflection at all where she thought – wow, that’s not what I meant, but that will sound good. Is there any cognitive dissidence at all? Is she aware that she’s lying? Is there any type of jerk inside her when she repeats this to people?

My husband says he doesn’t think people who are religious know the difference between praying that God is on our side and praying that we are on God’s side. Wow. Is that possible? He said, that’s the genius of Abraham Lincoln. People who actually understand the difference between those two things are probably skeptics. But it sounds appealing to religious people, it appears humble. OH!!!!!! I wish Charlie Gibson had asked her, “What is the difference to you between those two Abraham Lincoln statements about God?” THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT.

In any case, I was so proud of the View ladies. It just underscored how the media in general is so light handed. Everyone I know is talking like the View ladies are talking, and Jesus Christ, we are talking about the VIEW LADIES. These are main stream people!!! It was such a breath of fresh realistic air to have them asking McCain questions like they did, even if they didn’t follow up the way I wanted them to. Just that they were asking was jarring – we are not used to this on TV!

All right. I’m going to try to let it allllll gooooo today. And yes, of course I wish I were still on SNL and ten years younger and Tina Fey wasn’t there and I could play Sarah Palin. But Tina is going to nail it. I am so excited to watch tonight.