Sunday, May 15, 2005

I should just go ahead and take Valium

Because…you see, I get all excited like I’m a little kid. And if I’m really looking forward to something, I get all hyped up and I cannot sleep. I mean, I am up, looking at the clock every fifteen minutes. And then I wreck the thing I’m looking forward to because I didn’t sleep enough. Y’know, like I’m nine years old.

In fact, right now, right this moment. I’m going to go take an Excedrin P.M. so that it will start working on me and this won’t happen tonight. Right now it's late after Saturday's show. Mulan and the dog are sleeping. And I really wish I were too.

I’m back. And I took two. And I’m drinking a beer. Should I be worried?

But tomorrow’s a big day and I just gotta get some real sleep.

Okay, now I am seized with why I am even writing this. I think this blogging all the time thing, this thing I just started last week, will just go for a period of time, and then either I will just stop it, slow it down considerably, or become so embarrassed by something I’ve written that I will erase all of it. I have to keep reminding myself that blogs are only for those who wish to read them.

Okay, I’m blogging.

So, I was sooooo excited about the Skeptics conference at Cal Tech today, that I couldn’t sleep AT ALL last night. I mean, I usually have a hard time on Friday nights getting to sleep. Sometimes I don’t even get to sleep until two in the morning. But last night I was up until four. I was literally jumping up out of bed thinking I had overslept, only to find that it was merely ten minutes after the last time I did the same exact thing. And I had to be up at seven to get there in time for it to start.

Which of course meant that I went to the conference today and was so wiped out that I couldn’t stop dozing off and I had to pinch myself to keep myself focused. I’m not saying I didn’t get a lot out of it. I did, I did. I only was able to hear the first two sessions. But I got to hear plenty of wonderful people, Christoph Koch, Susan Blackmore – who I did get to meet and even get a picture with, and Alison Gopnik, too. It was really stimulating, fascinating, disturbing, educational – everything it should be. Of course, Michael Shermer was articulate and funny. I cannot wait until I don’t’ have to be performing myself and I can stick around and really hear everyone at these conferences.

The topic was consciousness. Susan Blackmore convinced me that consciousness is an illusion. She says it’s like the light in the refrigerator, only on when you look in, otherwise, it isn’t. Alison Gopnik convinced me that all children are scientists and that it’s the ones who retain this childlike wonder that become scientists as an adult. This really rings true for me. I learned about sleep and the areas of the brain that process visual information. I was in heaven learning all this stuff. (I have to say, I thought that the women were the best communicators during the speeches I heard. Not that the guys weren't good, of course, they're all geniuses. i mean that -- not sarcastically - they are. But the women, they seemed to see things differently and to me, more clearly and were able to pick out the obvious and communicate it better, more succinctly. Maybe I'm just sexist, but there you go...)

Oh how I wished I could have stayed longer. But I had to leave at four p.m. and get ready for my show tonight. I really had a great time doing the show tonight. I honestly feel lucky each and every time I get to do my show. (P.S. I am not articulate after a show. I repeat myself. And then repeat myself using words I just repeated in the previous sentence. Can you tell?)

Tomorrow is the big skeptic benefit party here at my house. I still have to buy tequila, some flowers, and the Italian cookies from Susina. This is all doable tomorrow morning. James Hammond is going to come to my house early and man the fort until the rest of eveyrone arrives -- the caterers, the servers, the bartender. THANK GOODNESS FOR JAMES.

My show is sold out, every single seat for the rest of the run. And the waitlist is already started. So I decided to go ahead and add a matinee for the last Saturday over Memorial Day weekend. May 28. We are going to have it at two o’clock, so that will give me from four thirty to eight to recover and do the next show. I think that will be okay. Previously when I did two shows in a day, it had been a three o’clock and an eight o’clock show. That extra hour will mean a lot. I don't think it will be hard. Plus, all the adrenaline from the knowledge that it's the last weekend, at least for some time, I think that will get me through.
Oh, I am so sad for the show to close. I am so sad. But I can’t perform anymore until the book is DONE. And there I go again, repeating myself. Good night. I can feel the drugs working. Yes, there we go. Relaxation, relaxation.